Quien soy yo

Briana Tapia 

9/28/19

Quien soy yo:

This tree map represents my family, and  where my roots come from. From what I know my great grandparents  where from: Agustina was born in Torreon,Coahuila and lived in Ciudad Juarez. Soledad and Ines where both from Parral,Chihuahua and lived there.  Esperanza and Ruben  where both born in Juarez and lived there. Ramona was born in Chihuahua,Chihuahua and lived there. My grandparents where born from: Marina  born/lived in Juarez, Daniel was born in  Parral and lived lived in Juarez,Cecilia born/lived in Juarez, Raul was born in Chihuahua and lived in Juarez. My mother was born in Juarez but later on she went through the process to become a US citizen (Naturalized) ,and my father Raul was born in USA city of El Paso,TX  but lived in Juarez while growing up now he lives in the USA .I was born in USA , El Paso, TX but I lived in Juarez for 5 years before my mother found a steady job and a home over in El Paso,TX. 

      Growing up with my family in Juarez were the happiest days of my life. Every Saturday we would get together and have cookouts or go to my primos or primas b-day parties. We would use whatever excuse just to get together. We would get together and make cookouts if there was a soccer game going on, pool party, go to the park (El ParqueBorunda), La Feria, or just to go visit my great grandma Agustina, hang out at my Aunts and uncles house etc..  I remember that every Sunday we would all go to the Catholic Church together. Every Mexican holiday or even American holiday we would celebrate. I also remember that on some holiday I grew up following my families religious traditions. For 4th of July some of my family would celebrate independence day and have an cookout with hamburgers and hot dogs and dress very patriotic here in El Paso. For September 16 my family and I celebrate el dia de la independencia y vamos al grito in Juarez. On October for Halloween day some of my family and I  that lived in El Paso would get together and go trick or treating and go to the haunted houses.  For November I would celebrate El dia de Muertos. Haciamos ofrendas para nuestros  familiares que habian fallesido. I would also celebrate  El dia de gracias. My family  would have our Thanksgiving food with Turkey and salsa de chile de arbol and salsa verde to accompanying it with Mexican arros and pastel de 3 leches instead of pumpkin pie . For December my family and I  would celebrate el nacimiento de Jesus y haciamos posadas. I remember my great grandma Agustina or if I was with my grandma Cecilia  having us all help them make tamales, bunuelos, menudo, and arros con leche. To make Christmas a little fun for the kids,the adults would tell us about Santa Clause. For Eater my family and I would Celebrate el dia de la coneja( for the kids) but also taught us about resurrection day do to being Catholics.  I remember celebrating dia de los Reyes Magos and receiving presents and as Catholic is Los tres Reyes Magos encontraron a Jesus y le llevaron regalos...

    While going to school in El Paso I want to say I was very lucky in the school that I was. The school I attended was Alicia R. Chacon International school. I was in that school from kinder -8th grade. This School offered 3 languages. The 2 main languages were English and Spanish and the 3rd language we could chooses the one we wanted to learn.Our options were Chinese, Russian, German, or Japanese. My mother at the time choose Chinese. I believed this school taught us all how to accept/respect each other. In this school I grew up celebrating American, Mexican, and Chinese traditions.They taught me about the American, Mexican, and Chinese history. We learned how to read, write, and speak the language. In this school  I learned martial arts such as Kung fu and  karate, gymnastics, sports, Folklorico dance. Thanks to this school I had the opportunity to travel and visit China. I never had a problem trying to fit in with the kids in school  due to the teachers and staff always reminding us to show respect, accept each other, and to embrace who we are and where we come from. They showed us to never give up, and they believed in us that one day we will make it in life.  

     In high school I attended 2 schools J.M. Hanks HS and Riverside HS.   J.M.Hanks HS was my home school and there i played soccer my 4 yrs. Riverside HS Junior & Senior year half day. I was accepted in the culinary program. I want to say these 2 schools make part of  who I am today because they taught me commitment, dedication, and to give it my 100%. It was challenging at times but it was all worth it.En esta etapa  de mi vida es donde me empese a hablar Spanglish.  After I graduated I went to the Culinary Arts program at EPCC for the Pastry associates degree.  I loved this places because even if their main focus was about french pastries  due to us being a border city they also offered a Mexican bread class. They taught us how to make all the traditional Mexican pastries and a little bit of the history of it. 

     Shortly after graduating I became pregnant with a beautiful baby girl named Luna.  I'm a single mother fighting hard to be able to have a better future for my child while currently attending UTEP, and working a part-time job.Being a single mom is a hard job and in this time in life is where I have found my self being criticized a lot more than before.I hear people say "You got pregnant very young" "some people see me with a mad face when I go ask for government help"" Ya aruinaste tu vida "" Tu raza is known for having babies very young " etc... I'm learning how to let go of my fears of what others might think of me and my social status in life. I am realizing that the only person I have to impress is myself. Esta soy yo y soy orgullosa de ser Chicana (Mexican/American). Yo estoy orgullosa de mi familia, mi pasado y mi presente.  Yo soy la unica que definira mi futuro y mis triunfos.

    

    

  

Btapia La chicana

Briana Tapia

La Chicana

When I read the Audre Lorde essay about The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle The Master’s House I felt like she was disappointed and wanted change. This essay was about Audre Lord being picked to comment on some papers that discussed the “differences of American women race, sexuality, class, and age” as stated on the book (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.94). While being in the Humanities Conference Audre started to notice that her point in being there wasn’t right because in some of the papers given to her to comment on, she felt like she couldn’t say anything about it because she didn’t relate to that subject in particular ”… model of nurturing which totally dismissed my knowledge as a black lesbian” (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.94). She discussed about how she noticed that there was only two women and her in there commenting on the papers. Two of the women were picked last minute. Audre questioned how they could have taken their comments of each women as a final say without asking other woman. Audre felt that was very unprofessional and that showed the lack of research on their part. That’s when she understood that things don’t really change or if they do the change is very minimal. For many years the Men have let us think we have won by making small changes for women, but if we want to make a change and fight for equality, we must stop using our differences as excuses for parting us away and must from unity ”They may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change” (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.95). We must let out fears go, in order to finally start understanding our differences and be able to come together in order to make positive changes in life. This is the only way we will beat the Master’s house and break fee.

The way I connect to the message of the passage of And When You Leave, Take Your Pictures With You  is that I feel that other white woman  see me as if I’m uneducated, a person that has no goals in life  that will end up with lots of children and living off of food stamps and housing. Living in the city where the majority are Hispanics, I still feel judged by white people and sometimes by my own race. Also, our own raza can judge us the hardest. We women are so easy to judge one another without even knowing what each of us is really going through. “…but all of us are born into an environment where racism exists” (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.58). I am a young single mother living on welfare, working part time being paid minimum, and going to school. I feel like I am being judged every time I renew these welfare services. The gestures some of the employees make, makes me feel like they think of me that I am a person trying to take advantage of the system for the rest of my life. They don’t know I don’t plan to live off the government services for the rest of my life. This is just while I get my life together in order to have a better future for my child. I wish I didn’t have to go through this but how the book say’s “but you work with what you have, whatever your skin color” (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.58). I keep telling myself I’m not the first nor the last woman going through some of these struggles.  I feel like just because I’m Hispanic I must prove these racist people that just because I’m struggling right now doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for asking for government help.  Even if we fear reality or change, we all need to see the full colorful picture not just black and white (whatever we just want to see) for all of us to understand and be able to make a bigger change.

             

 How I believe that Audre Lorde connect to Chapter 5 from the book Borderlands is that in both stories talks about how both African American women and Chicanas/Mexican American women  we were all raised not to question why certain things must be followed   “As women we have been taught to either ignore our differences or view them as causes for separation…” (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.95). Also not talking back to others "Boca cerrada no entran moscas." (Anzaldúa, 1987, Pg.76)”, we had to hide our emotions, personal opinions, facts, and just go with what the white people had to say and must follow the rules in order to fit with this country. Woman were constantly reminded that white people were superior than them.  Another good point to compare is how white people would dehumanized African Americans and Hispanics/Chicanos verbally ,physical punishment, etc. On the first page of Ch.5 talks about how a child was caught speaking Spanish and he got smacked in the on the knuckles with a ruler. He was also punished for trying to explain something to the teacher and she got mad, she took it as if he were talking back. She also told the student “If you want to be American, speak American. If you don’t like it, go back to Mexico where you belong” (Anzaldúa, 1987 Pg.75).  For the book The Bridge Called My Back on page 91, where Audre Lorde felt offended by what Marry wrote or published. Audre Lord felt like her voice and the voice of her African American community was seen in negative perspective/meaning as she states to Mary “What you excluded from Gyn/Ecology dismissed my heritage and the heritage of all other non-european women... I felt that you had in fact misused my words, utilized them only to testify against myself as a woman of color” (Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.91)

 The way both books relate to language is to speak out. We must fight for our voices to be heard and our stories to be written and be read. To have more variety of stories not just white people’s stories.” Until I have pride in my language, I cannot have cannot take pride in myself…until I am free to write bilingual and to switch codes without having always to translate…I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing. I will have my voice… (Anzaldúa 1987, pg.81). As for Audre Lorde I think that she is trying to tell Marry on “An open Letter to Marry Daly” that the way people right or say things might have a different impact of what others are trying to understand “When I speak of knowledge I am speaking of that dark and true depth which understanding serves,…accessible though language to ourselves and others ” Moraga & Anzaldúa, 2015, pg.91) . How both books connect is that we should be proud of our roots and to be able to understand and have empathy towards one another and to be able to accept each other differences. To be able to grow and try not to commit the same mistakes as passed generations did.  

Citations:

Anzaldúa Gloria. (1987). Borderlands -: La frontera. San Francisco, CA: Aunt Lute Books.

Moraga Cherríe, & Anzaldúa Gloria. (2015). This bridge called my back: writings by radical women of color. Albany: State University of New York Press.